You will never succeed in creating a relationship with another person if you hold certain beliefs in your mind.
Imagine a young girl who, from early childhood, has witnessed this scenario:
A domineering mother—whose health was never the best—persistently showed her daughter that her husband (the girl’s father) was just a worthless fool.
She tried to do everything herself because she believed she could do it “best,” better than her husband, who “couldn’t even think”—not that anyone allowed him to, since his wife, the girl’s mother, was the one doing the thinking for him.
The daughter grows up, and without even realizing it, she slowly absorbs her mother’s beliefs about men.
She also keeps hearing remarks about what a “poor thing” she is because her parents are ill, and that she has to work extremely hard just to survive in life.
Her mother bestows upon her all kinds of love—so much so that she constantly repeats, “Oh, what would you do without me? How would you even survive without me?”
The girl studies diligently, graduates from school with top honours, completes university, obtains an excellent degree, and her standards grow even higher.
Unfortunately, these standards become impossible for any man to meet, and the chances of finding one dwindle further.
From the mother’s perspective, she alone is the only one who knows how to care for her daughter in the best way.
Over time, the young woman’s worldview solidifies around these ideas:
- Men are worthless creatures who have to “earn” a woman’s favour.
- They have to give gifts and pay attention to prove they are worthy and good.
- They must support the woman financially to prove their value.
- They are required to be “manly” and meet every one of the standards this kind of woman sets.
Now, think about it: what man would want to give up his freedom just to constantly do what such a woman demands?
I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with a man being masculine, earning a living for himself and his beloved, and showing her attention.
But that’s not the main issue.
The real problem is that he will still never be able to satisfy such a woman’s standards, simply because she will always be missing something.
Within her—deep in her mindset and vibration—there is a worldview, a “program” or erroneous belief that a man is worthless and must constantly prove he deserves her.
A belief is always stronger than reality.
Unconsciously, any man would eventually run away from such a woman, sensing her energetic vibration. It continually tells him, “Her desires and standards are impossible to meet; she’ll never be at peace, she’ll always need more or something different, and whatever I do just won’t be enough.”
Another possibility is that she might attract men who have completely given up on life—those with no opinion of their own—who will become slaves to her beauty and subtle manipulations.
This is how subconscious programs operate.
She may be gentle, sensual, wonderful, wealthy—anything she wants. But no matter how hard she looks for a life partner, until she fixes her beliefs and adjusts her life standards, she will remain alone.
She simply won’t be noticed by—or she herself won’t notice—the man who is truly meant for her.
So, what to do?
Realize that her life has nothing to do with her parents’ lives. She is by no means a “poor thing”; she’s just like everyone else.
She doesn’t need to prove anything to anyone by trying to reach perfect standards in every way, simply to justify her underlying sense of inadequacy.
No one, not a single person, can ever meet another person’s endless expectations and requirements—therefore, there’s no point in setting them.
Of course, there may be mutual attraction, shared understanding, and the usual faith that the right person will appear in one’s life.
Yet it’s generally better not to attract someone who arrives only to shatter the young woman’s deeply held beliefs—those relationships tend to be uncomfortable, full of conflict, hostility, and disagreements.
No one owes anything to anyone else—not to earn a living for them or to support them. We should abandon such illusions and rely on ourselves.
Everyone must decide independently what they want and do not want to do; we all have free will. It’s essential to cultivate gratitude and understanding for the other person dispite own beliefs.
Of course, out of self-love, a woman in this situation needs to reprogram her beliefs.
Ideally, she would do so with the help of a specialist. Even the smallest nuances can prove highly significant in resolving such issues.
P.S.
I trust you can relate.
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